Heart of England Midwives
Birth Stories
Helen's story: the birth of Baby Cheesecake
Previous History
I have 2 daughters with 22 months between them. With the eldest Imogen, born September 2005, I went in to labour at 36 weeks after SROM, I had Felicity 10 days early at home however I needed a repair to a third degree tear, I was still pleased to have labored and delivered at home as it had meant that my tear was correctly diagnosed I had to have an epidural to repair, however I was out by Midnight after going in to theatre at 14:00ish, it was a bit of a struggle to get out they kept giving me reasons I had to stay which I had to counter. Steve thought I was good at this but it annoyed me that I even had to debate about leaving. my community Midwife was wonderful and came out to me in labour even though it was her day off her commitment to me shows that there are some fantastic women working in the NHS.
I had a miscarriage in March which although incredibly sad made me realize how lucky I have been with 2 gorgeous healthy daughters. My husband and I had decided 2 was perfect and although we would wait to see how we felt as it was so soon after miscarriage.
Choosing Helen and Diane to be my midwives.
It was a surprise to be pregnant again! I found out my Community Midwife no longer worked for my surgery and I really wanted the continuity of care and support during my pregnancy as I found this a important to my ability to relax during labor knowing that the midwife understood my concerns and my reasons for my choices rather than relying on the day for my birth plan to be understood. As this was my “last time” I wanted to ensure I did everything possible to ensure as perfect a birth as possible. When I met Helen I immediately felt at ease and thought she was incredible and saw that this was the right path for me. I also did not want to have be struggling against NHS protocols, I wanted my birth to be memorable for the birth.
Having unhurried appointments where Helen was able to get to know me in my own home, rather than rushed 10-15 minute appointments in the doctors surgery, made me feel relaxed and positive rather than worrying I had missed asking about something or not taken in what I was told.
Antenatal appointments
My daughter named my bump "Cheesecake" and the name stuck! It helped my children bond with bump as well as being some of the antenatal appointments and Helen showing them what part of baby they were palpating. One of the major advantages was having appointments to suit me and my family. Which benefited me having Steve there. My mum listening to babies heart beat through the pinard, her smile on her face was a picture! My Husband I felt could bond with the bump more. I felt baby and I were loved and cared for by my midwife and this amazing blanket of protection made me feel more relaxed..i am the worlds worst worrier! Helen listened and offered advice my appointments were never rushed and I was amazed how long they were. Helen got to know me as a person.
After having a urinary tract infection at 36 weeks Helen and Diane both calmed me down, as I so wanted my homebirth but with my previous history with Imogen I worried about going in to labor too early. Diane’s advice to relax and carry on my relaxation, breathing. They listened to my worries however minor or silly, it made all the difference.
Diane bought me a rose at 39 weeks to symbolize my cervix ripening and I think visualization is helpful in pregnancy and birth and used it to focus on during meditation andrelaxation. It was these little touches that made the moment special. (I dried the rose once it had passed full bloom and it is now in my keepsake box)
The Birth
My waters broke early 3am Thursday I awoke to find Felicity no more than 2” from my face fast asleep. I woke Steve up and told him my waters have broken and said “can you move Flic back to her bed”. I rang Helen nothing was happeningbut felt after my experience with Imogen it perhaps would not be too long. We awoke in the morning I went and dropped the children off at nursery. Helen texted to ask if anything was “doing” at around 8 to which I responded “nothing doing”. I had niggles but not really anything that was going to get a baby delivered! I was hoping that I would go in to labour shortly however time ticked on.. Helen visited me and carried out a antenatal appointment at 11:30 and I was optimistic something would be starting soon I was getting weak pains now and again I felt something was brewing. After my appointment Steve and I went for another walk however everything stopped and I was having not even a niggle. Grumpy and disheartened in my head I felt strange as this had never happened before. Previously, I had not had to wait long.
I kept an eye on my temperature, I booked to see the acupuncturist that afternoon on my way I got a phone callfrom nursery to say my eldest daughter had been sick and could I pick her up. I quick phone call to my heroic mum and a granny was dispatched to collect the children from nursery and to stay around my granny’s house! Acupuncture did not seem to trigger much however the niggles were back Hurray!!! I had a bunce on my birthing ball.
I went to bed feeling positive that I would be in labour soon. Midnight, I awoke to the car alarm going off, stubbed my toe racing down stairs to find the car keys to switch it off. Gutted I had expected to be awoken by labour pains not the car alarm, I cried and cried. The following morning I was still niggling but nothing really going. Helen visited me and I was in tears it felt like an eternity waiting for labour. Helen was really supportive we discussed fully my options and booked and Induction for Sunday this was great as I felt I had a plan they were unable to fit me in on Saturday so I felt like the time pressure was off a little. There was hardly any fluid leaking so we discussed it was possibly a hind water leak. Helen showed me the NICE guidelines and RCM guidelines . I felt that I would have a fantasitic advocate with me if I did have to be induced and this really set my mind at ease
Helen reassured me told me to have a relaxing day which I did. Steve and I went for a lovely meal on our own. Imogen was feeling better and being looked after by Granny so Steve and I had time to ourselves which is rare and precious. During the meal I was having to stop eating the niggles were getting stronger and a pattern was slowly emerging. We went home and the Paula my acupuncturist visited at 1500hrs and stayed for over an hour. By this time I was having contractions every 10 to 15 minutes of varying intensity. I wanted to go for a walk after the acupuncture and as it was dark and icy we decided to go to Sainsbury’s to “Try something new today” I pushed the trolley so I had something to hold on to and complained if Steve left my side to look at some offer. Contractions were coming every 4 to 5 minutes. I had one when we started putting the shopping on the conveyor belt and after we had packed and paid.
When we got home I got steve to time the contractions whilst he ran around putting away shopping sorting the house out ready in case this was it! I remember saying “Thank you” out loud after a really strong contraction I was so relieved to be in labour. After about an hour and a half I rang Helen to let her know and said I would ring back in an hour. Diane cheered in the background. I was so worried I did not want to get my hopes up, it could all stop again. I wanted to ring back after 30 minutes but thought lets just wait the full hour and not jinx it! Helen came at about 8:30 now my contractions were 1 every 3 minutes, I had a examination which confirmed I was about 5 or 6 cm and that my waters were bulging so it was the hind waters that had gone earlier and explained the low amount of fluid I had been leaking.
Steve was trying to get me to put on the tens machine I had bought but I was coping and I felt too far gone to benefit, so I was trying to avoid Steve who was adamant on sticking it on me! Eventually he got the hint and turned his attention back to pool filling duties! He we so caring just wanting to take all the pain away.
Diane arrived with a pack of Jelly babies! I said hello sorted out some music for myself.
I welcomed every contraction and tried to remember my goldenthread breath and grounding my toes stamping my feet and enjoyed the moments of peace in between. I got in the pool and it was great the pressure was less and I felt lighter, heavenly. Poor Steve though, the temperature was 35 and needed to be 37 to be ok for delivery. Our kettle was working over time as was Steve. He had to wait if I was contracting as I could not stand him filling whilst I was contracting as it ruined my concentration and made me feel tense. He got there in the end and the temperature was correct.
Helen reminded me that if she asked me to do something, I need to do it, as this would be an emergency otherwise she just supported me by telling me remember my breathing and that I did not need to panic and push. I rember muttering I cant do this and then thinking durr how transitional am i! I wanted gas and air but didn’t. somebody might know what I mean by this. Gas and air was good. I dropped the mouth piece in the pool and it sounded like a kazoo. I wanted to laugh Helen, Diane and Steve were telling me to breathe. I wanted to aoid a repeat tear. I can remember with Felicity I felt I had to push and I think this might have been what did the damage. I stopped pushing realizing my body would do it. I remember breathing out sending a ripple across the water so calming and simple. I felt the waters burst and the head descending. Helen said touch your baby’s head babies hair was waving and so soft under water. Every time Ben and I bath and I feel his wet hair in the water that powerful moment of my life comes flooding back.
It felt an age waiting for the next contraction to come and for shoulders to be delivered although it was seconds. I caught baby and brought baby to the surface. Baby was covered in vernix and looked like it could swim the channel! I cuddledand looked at Cheesecake who was crying and lively! After a few photos I thought I have not looked to see what sex Baby was I looked and was surprised to see it was a boy. I had assumed it would be a girl and when I had first caught baby what I saw was just a curled up bottom no tackle.
Photos and then on to the sofa to feed a cup of tea and deliver the plancenta which came within half an hour. Steve cut the cord and I felt so blessed. My birth had all gone according to plan eventually after a tricksy start. I did need some stitches but not a trip to hospital thank goodness. Helen was wonderful and stitched me explaining what she was doing and gave me options. My dining room chairs made excellent supports for my legs. I sat and had tea and toast did some pelvic floor execercises and to my surprise could feel something. Helen left at around 1:30 in the morning.
Postnatal
It was a lovely birth and I felt so good afterwards. Day 3 I cried about the birth being so good. The support I had after the birth for breastfeeding was incredible although I had breastfed my daughters 10 months and 16 months I did struggle with Ben. We got there eventually with Helen’s support, and it just goes to show that every breastfeeding relationship is different and every baby is different. I cannot say how much Helen and Diane have meant to me and what an amazing experience I had. I felt so cared for and loved. Helen is so serene and such a calming influence on the worrier in me. More Cakes….Would I do it again…? I miss Helen a lot however getting pregnant again just to see her would be slightly daft!
Giving birth is such a momentous occasion that I do think it can be a great option to hire a midwife for the continuity, love and support. Even if things don’t go according to plan I felt safe that I would make the most of what ever my journey to birth would be. They also made sure that all my options were explained and I felt that I made choices based on factual information rather than the preference of others. I would recommend them if you are planning home or hospital birth as they are there for you.